When did I let it go?

When? When did I just let "me" go? Was it with the first one? The second, third.......by the fourth I KNOW "I" was "out".
Come on Ladies, okay, if you made sure to make yourself a priority and not let yourself fall to the side mad props to you!!!
You know it's a cycle for myself, I go about my business with my family as normal, take care of them, feed them, wash their clothes, do what I can to keep the house up.....
Me, what? who? where'd she go? Cause I'm looking to my left side and right and um, I don't see her anywhere.
I was fun!, I use to do my make up, my hair, get waxed, get dressed up, took showers everyday!! Do we just lose that when we have kids? Or is it just me?
I'm not saying I have to be that pampered Mom who has massages, manicures, pedicures, spa days, etc. (don't get me wrong that would be fabulous!!! That's just not realistic for me).
Sometimes I just want to be just me, you know the person I was before I was a Mom. The woman who liked to have a good time out, the woman who liked to listen to R&B, maybe some 70's soul, and yes I enjoyed some rap.
If I want to hear that now it better be playing in my ipod because my Rocker Husband doesn't play that.
When did I let myself be taken? Shouldn't I still be able to be exactly who I always was except just with more lessons learned, a little wiser than before, and yes older, okay I said it OLDER. Of course I don't expect to be that 20 something girl who got out of work, cleaned up, changed, and partied the night away dancing all night at some club.
I want to be a Mom who is proud of herself for being exactly who she should be and I think that's where I'm a little bit lost. Yes, I still have young kids who depend on me quite frequently, yes, I am basically all they have 24/7. Does that take me away from taking care of myself? Of course, always, because no matter what my children come first.
The selfish part of me comes in when I think "yes, my children are first, but I'm not getting any younger either when do I come into play?" Okay, stop I don't want to hear the violins playing off your fingers......
Okay, here it comes, straight talk ........................When I was little I remember staying at my Grandparents house all day while my Mom worked, she'd pick me up, take me home, and it would repeat the next day....On the weekends I would remember seeing her get dressed up to go out while her music was playing on the stereo, you know Dionne Warrick, Barbra Streisand, Helen Reddy, The Gap Band...
I use to watch her and think "I can't wait till I'm a Mom to put on high heels, get dressed up and go out".
Times change that's for sure.
The reality is I have to be me, sometime I'm going to have to stop saying "okay, we'll listen to what you like" "no, I won't use that language", "whatever you think", "if that's what you want".

Maybe I need to grow some balls......mmm, nah, I don't want to go that far, I have enough to deal with big boobs, I don't need some dangling things between my legs.

Let me just say......All Moms are still and should be the women they were before children, before husbands, just a little bit more wiser, and of course older.......................we are who we are and hopefully we will remember that and be true to ourselves, and if we happen to lose ourselves along the way, we better make it a priority to find ourselves because in the end we began the journey we are on and who better to continue and enjoy it but us!!!