When did I let it go?

When? When did I just let "me" go? Was it with the first one? The second, third.......by the fourth I KNOW "I" was "out".
Come on Ladies, okay, if you made sure to make yourself a priority and not let yourself fall to the side mad props to you!!!
You know it's a cycle for myself, I go about my business with my family as normal, take care of them, feed them, wash their clothes, do what I can to keep the house up.....
Me, what? who? where'd she go? Cause I'm looking to my left side and right and um, I don't see her anywhere.
I was fun!, I use to do my make up, my hair, get waxed, get dressed up, took showers everyday!! Do we just lose that when we have kids? Or is it just me?
I'm not saying I have to be that pampered Mom who has massages, manicures, pedicures, spa days, etc. (don't get me wrong that would be fabulous!!! That's just not realistic for me).
Sometimes I just want to be just me, you know the person I was before I was a Mom. The woman who liked to have a good time out, the woman who liked to listen to R&B, maybe some 70's soul, and yes I enjoyed some rap.
If I want to hear that now it better be playing in my ipod because my Rocker Husband doesn't play that.
When did I let myself be taken? Shouldn't I still be able to be exactly who I always was except just with more lessons learned, a little wiser than before, and yes older, okay I said it OLDER. Of course I don't expect to be that 20 something girl who got out of work, cleaned up, changed, and partied the night away dancing all night at some club.
I want to be a Mom who is proud of herself for being exactly who she should be and I think that's where I'm a little bit lost. Yes, I still have young kids who depend on me quite frequently, yes, I am basically all they have 24/7. Does that take me away from taking care of myself? Of course, always, because no matter what my children come first.
The selfish part of me comes in when I think "yes, my children are first, but I'm not getting any younger either when do I come into play?" Okay, stop I don't want to hear the violins playing off your fingers......
Okay, here it comes, straight talk ........................When I was little I remember staying at my Grandparents house all day while my Mom worked, she'd pick me up, take me home, and it would repeat the next day....On the weekends I would remember seeing her get dressed up to go out while her music was playing on the stereo, you know Dionne Warrick, Barbra Streisand, Helen Reddy, The Gap Band...
I use to watch her and think "I can't wait till I'm a Mom to put on high heels, get dressed up and go out".
Times change that's for sure.
The reality is I have to be me, sometime I'm going to have to stop saying "okay, we'll listen to what you like" "no, I won't use that language", "whatever you think", "if that's what you want".

Maybe I need to grow some balls......mmm, nah, I don't want to go that far, I have enough to deal with big boobs, I don't need some dangling things between my legs.

Let me just say......All Moms are still and should be the women they were before children, before husbands, just a little bit more wiser, and of course older.......................we are who we are and hopefully we will remember that and be true to ourselves, and if we happen to lose ourselves along the way, we better make it a priority to find ourselves because in the end we began the journey we are on and who better to continue and enjoy it but us!!!

Let me pull out my inventory list....

Yes ladies,
Do you have this issue? Because I do, it comes and goes but it just pulled itself right out again.

What is it with everyone in my household thinking I magically carry this inventory list with me everywhere I go? Just once I wish they would just look for themselves!! Yeah, complete Cyber High Five on this one!!!

Okay, example: "Mom is there room in the fridge for the Mango juice?" (I'm in the front room, no where near the fridge) "I don't know did you look?" "Well, we finished the orange juice so I think there's space by the milk" "Then, if there's space for it I guess you know your answer". Or "Do you know if we have anymore clean underwear?" "Um, well, did you look in your drawers?" "yeah, but I didn't see any" "Well, then unless you hid them in another drawer or under your pillow I would say no, and you might want to get your dirty laundry out".

What the hell is going on? Am I suppose to know everything all the time? Or do they just expect me to know it all? (I guess that's the same question just asked differently, see they got me all screwed up!)
This is how much I have it together, the laundry I washed for my husband and I, yes I folded it, have I hung up anything? No, has anyone helped to hang up anything? No. Has anything made it to the drawers, no. Again, had anyone else helped by putting clothes away in the drawers? NO.

I must say I manage to pick the folded clothes back up off the floor and place them on the bed so that I have it in my mind to make it back to my room sometime during the day to put them away. Do I make it? Hell no!! When?

Whatever, I guess I should update my magical inventory list so that I'm totally on top of it when they come to ask before they actually look for themselves!!

I'm just saying........from the lady with the magical inventory list!!

Dirty Job....but someone has to do it

Alright ladies,

So, my husband's job is in jeopardy. We aren't exactly sure if it's going to be here at the end of the year so I'm trying to figure something to do from home so that I can continue to be here for my kids.
My Aunt came up with an idea, a job that would make good money (so she tells me, not that she knows cause she's just sayin').
Okay ladies, ready? PHONE SEX

Yes, that's what my Aunt told me....she said you could make good money. Hmmmm, how does she know?!? Never mind I don't want to know......although..............................

Come on ladies, I think back to that game that's actually in my closet right now, Dirty Minds. It gives you innocent clues about something but when you hear them they sound anything but innocent.
Well, I thought about sounds....Yes, I'm a multi-tasker, you know I have to be with 4 kids, and a baby every other day along with my normal daily things.

Can you see it?! A moan here as I bend over to pick up toys, a moan there as I'm cleaning around the toilets, a deep breath from trying not to smell the strong cleansers....

Hey maybe it'll work, I might be telling the kids in a quiet yet stearn voice, "Give it to me now!" "Don't" "Stop".


Or "That's it!" "Keep going" (as they're drawing or working in their workbooks).

Hey, all I need to do is get one of those phone pieces I could hook to my ear as I'm doing my daily things......the only problem is I'd have to listen to that freak on the other end...

Whatever, let me just say.............. it was a good thought

Okay, I'll start

Yes ladies, welcome this is completely just for us...Oh, the things I could put in here. All the things I would've totally loved to put in my main blog, I had to hold my fingers back from just typing out all the things I could've.
Now ladies, it's been a verrrryyyy long time since I've talked completely raw-by raw I mean just straight talk, no censoring, just straight putting it out there.
With this blog, I am going to be just me, not a Mom of 4 (although I'm sure it'll come up in some parts), not a daughter (who knows her Mom will probably be reading this, just read with one eye open Mom), not a sister (even though I know my Sister in law will be involved in this one or my Sister will be reading, read on girls invite your friends too!!), okay I will be a niece (cause my Aunts are crazy like that!! Nothin' but love to you ladies). The fact is I am all of the above, and with that I have evolved into the "no potty words" Mom, Daughter, Sister, and Friend. Truth is I use to be just me, I could express myself the way I wanted to and in this blog Ladies that is exactly what we are going to do.
So put on your favorite music, close the door (or in my case just put your ear pods in) grab that martini, glass of wine, or whatever you enjoy, sit back and let's get it out there!!!

Just completely ME!!!!!!!!!!!